stantler:

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

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bloomprima:

everyone forgets what an absolutely horrible liar Dave is so here’s some reminders.

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edgarallanpoultry:

capt-mal-reynolds:

ravnican:

yahenni:

yeeeem:

smallgirlthing:

yeeeem:

it’s fun to stay at the Y

M

M

M

*smacks the side of my boom box to get the cd to stop skipping*

C

YOUNG MAN

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realmarysue:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

We should talk more about what a dick move it is to name horror movie villains regular-ass people names.

Michael Meyers? Dick move. How many thousands of Mr. Michael Meyers are out there every day meeting people going “Ope! Haha Michael Meyers! Oh just don’t kill me! Haha.” Shut up. Meyers et al should kill you, and John Carpenter for causing this.

You know who did this right? Thomas Harris. Named his villain just the right inconceivable combination of sounds. I don’t think there are any fucking Hannibal Lecters out there uncomfortably laughing off cannibal jokes in a job interview. And if there are, then I think they’ve got bigger problems coming from parents willing to name a squishy little baby Hannibal Fucking Lecter.

reply pointing out that being named for a slasher villain gives you the best chance of internet anonymity.ALT

“Hannibal Fucking Lecter, you were named after the best chance at achieving internet privacy in the digital age because all attempts to search for you will be buried beneath three decades worth of horror movie discourse and an unspeakable amount of Hannigram porn.”

My government name is Mary Sue and I approve this message.

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chickenlittlefan15:

“ohh what if my kid starts identifying as a CAT because of the trans agenda we have to prote—” well they’ve always done that. do you remember the psychological effects of h2o on young girls. of warrior cats on autistic children. i believed i was a demigod because of percy jackson. twilight came out and kids were telling their friends they were secretly vampires. this is just a thing kids do. worry less

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e-the-village-cryptid:

communistcephalopod:

hypothesis: vampires are magically vulnerable to light originating from the sun

observation: moonlight has no effect on vampires, despite being a reflection of the sun

conclusion: this aversion is not a result of light or its origin, but some property of sunlight only present in direct contact

hypothesis: vampires are extremely sensitive to uv radiation

alternate hypothesis: vampires are immune to the entire concept of reflection

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raskolnikovstherapist:

in honor of louise glück’s passing, here is a poem that i think about constantly and that has pulled me through some of the most difficult moments in my relationship with my parents

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olyrik:

balaclava-trismegistus:

Not saying anything nobody’s said before, but the way Fallout is a foundationally anti-capitalist story that got turned into funkopop sci-fi pastiche slop for morons is painful to the point of brilliance. Makes its points about greed and power that much more salient.

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